I'm On A Boat

This weekend I made a VERY short trip to Nashville, TN. My boyfriend is currently enrolled at Belmont University and I flew down to help him move out of his dorm, and to attend his fraternity's formal. I didn't spend even 24 hrs. in TN, but it might have been one of the more memorable trips to Nashville.

The ATO formal took place on the Music City Queen boat. It was a dinner cruise which left from Opryland Hotel and cruised down to the downtown area of Nashville, along the Cumberland River. We spent the morning packing up his things and loading up his truck. We planned to leave the next day to make the 12 hour return drive to PA for the start of our summer breaks. Our morning was busy, and a little stressful since Caleb = a little unorganized and laid back while Haven = very organized, stressful, and hurried. Nonetheless, we got the job done.

I had found the perfect dress with the help of my wonderful sister, Marah. To match my dress, I made with the help of my sister, a matching bow tie for Caleb to wear. (In case you didn't know, a bow tie is a very southern proper style and a must for this formal.) We were quite the dazzling and classy couple, as you can see in this picture below.

We enjoyed a nice 4 course dinner, ending with an amazing slice of chocolate espresso cake and a cup of coffee. As we finished dinner, the sun was setting over the river and we arrived at the downtown area of the city. The lights from the skyline reflected in the water, making the evening more incredible. I was able to meet many of Caleb's brothers and it was a wonderful evening to spend with him. There was dancing and lots of talking and it became just a wonderful evening to escape to. After a long spring semester, of my 3 week trip to New Zealand, and the long distance when I returned, the busy-ness of the semester and two very different schedules...this night was just we needed. We spend the evening together, in the same time zone, relaxing and socializing with friends. Even better yet, we were dressed up and were throughly enjoying the cruise down the river. Time spent together is that much more treasured when the time comes few and far and in between. Finally, we made it to the end of the semester. To me, the evening was a wonderful beginning to a long summer together. Being on the boat, with music playing in the background, the skyline of Downtown Nashville, and his warm arms wrapped around me, It was the perfect southern, Tennessee, kind of night.

Flying

Its been practically an entire semester from my last post. As I look back upon the time that has flown by, I see ups and downs, and mostly downs. As much as this has been a fairly easy academic semesters, I've struggled through the semester in ways I didn't expect. I've stuck out my neck and I've worked hard with classes. I've traveled home almost every weekend, pleasing and spending time with the people who are the closest to me. I've carried on a long distance relationship through the really great time and through the challenges. I feel like i'm a pro at transitions. Making adjustments in my own life is not a strength of mine. As this semester has progressed I have had to make more adjustments and I have had to rely less on my planner than ever before. Sometimes my planner would let me down and sometimes I would let my planner down. All in all, I'm able to see that life cannot be planned. A certainty in life is that life will be completely uncertain.
As I conclude my last semester of classes and reach my last semester as a undergrad student, I am realizing how unsure the future is. I can probably plan and write out a schedule from now til 2050, but no doubt, it wouldn't come true. A year from now, I have no clue where I will be. And that doesn't scare me. I'm actually rather excited for it.
Besides this blabbering, life is so impermanent. This semester has flown by and what do I have to show for it? When I finish in December, my hard work will have paid off. My friend gave me the largest compliment the other day by saying "Haven, you work your butt off and no one even knows." That was probably the greatest thing for me to hear. I have worked my butt off and I can't wait for the day where everyone will realize and appreciate all I've done. Now this sounds selfish, and yes, it is, but there comes a point where I reach my breaking point, and sometimes that point is as close as the waves to the sand. I look back, and I've made it this far, and so I  know I've got a long way to go.

Reverse

Take it from this video: sometimes we need to reverse our attitudes. From one perspective, we see students who aren't motivated and don't want to learn. Its time to turn our thinking around and take a new perspective. Thinking Out Loud: I Believe, I Care...Do You?: "Listening to the video the first time, I thought of how I sometimes feel about my students: students don't care, don't want to read, and ar..."

Why

During the past week I have been asked several times, "why would you want to be a Special Education teacher?" Much to my surprise, this question has come from existing teachers and assistants. I find myself smiling to myself when I am asked this. Why wouldn't I want to be a special education teacher? Well, the pay is not good. I have to write IEP's. The amount of paperwork is overwhelming. My job doesn't end at 4:00. I most likely have to take homework home with me. I'll need to spend the weekend planning for the following week. And, I'm bound to have at least one student whom I just can't figure out. Aren't those all the amazing things about special ed? Apparently, these quite negative things have become the face of special education. Even teachers in the field of special education question why anyone would want to do what they do. Is it because its an impossible task? No. Is it because they think I'm crazy to join a world of irregularities and instability? Probably.

So I ask myself, why am I doing this? I don't ask this question to find out what my answer is to these people who challenge my future career, but I ask this question to find out the rewarding things that everyone seems to miss about special ed. I'm doing this because I want to make a difference. If I can change the life of just ONE student, I will be satisfied. I do this to see the smile on the face of a student who finally "gets it". I do this to put together the pieces of a child with autism. I do this to see a parent and a child be able to communicate. I do this to see a student write their name. I follow this career path because the smallest steps can be the biggest reward. I teach because I can help a student discover who they are. I can be and can provide the most stable thing that some students have ever experienced. I can encourage, I can motivate. I have a passion for students who don't quite fit in with the picture perfect normal mold. I don't want to teach a normal, boring classroom. I want a challenge. I don't want to know what to expect each day.

So maybe I want to write IEP's (just kidding!). Maybe I want to take my work home with me. Maybe I'll have to plan on the weekends. Maybe my first year of teaching will be my worst year ever. Maybe if that is true, I'll come out on the other side a teacher who won't ask education majors, "why would you choose to be a special education teacher?"

A strange request, isn't it?

Uncharted Waters

     I've been debating starting a blog for quite some time. I've read and followed friend's blogs and was always so impressed. I always doubted my own ability to create and keep a really great blog. BUT I find myself being inspired once again, and this time I'm following through. I'm starting this blog as a place where I can share the great moments, the roadblocks, and the ideas I have.
     I recently spent 3 weeks in New Zealand and I wanted to share with every person everything that I learned and experienced because it was so great! As I was traveling home from that experience, I just felt this overwhelming feeling that I shouldn't limit my thoughts and opinions to just bouncing inside of my own head. As I live each day, I don't want to keep what I'm experiencing all to myself. I want people to read, be inspired, and learn from my many mistakes and successes each day. This is a place where I plan to share all of the things that inspire me, give me hope, and motivate me to learn. Mostly, finding motivation in the things that will lead me to be an effective and influential teacher in the lives of the many students I'm about to encounter.